so, placing a jordan series drogue, dan's and my gift to ourselves, under this year's christmas tree provided me much joy! we are moving in the direction of our departure! the attaching of the cones to the line and contemplating the actual purpose of this device prompted lots of conversation... we had decided to purchase the drogue kit - we would attach all 140 (in gypsy's case) cones ourselves. to be honest, the kit is made to be quite doable - the line is marked, the cones have been threaded onto the line and after complete instruction, you are able to begin the project. i had made the trip to the sail loft on christmas eve day so we would have the option to start the project with lots of leisure time spent with family. well, the kids were no where to be seen, but dan and i found ourselves beside the christmas branch (my daughter and i had second thoughts about cutting down a tree to decorate and discard so we opted to cut down a dead branch and decorate it; much to my son's disappointment - it seems he needs to become more flexible regarding improvisation as my life on a boat will not allow all the same traditions...)
dan easily translated my recently learned instruction and we set out at an alternating pace: one threading the straps onto the line, the other tying off the straps...as i started thinking of the purpose of this piece of equipment, i confessed that i shutter at the sea conditions that warrant the use of a drogue. amusement park rides have always been exciting to me but the idea that the thrill of the roller coaster is time limited and safety tested makes that excitement "controlled" whereas the fierceness of a storm at sea challenges my sense of calm... i haven't even been in a thunder storm at sea! fear and the management of these fears came into focus...
how does fear rule our decisions? or our ability to live until we die... dan has a way of putting things into perspective for me... there is no doubt we will not be the couple disregarding impending storm warnings, but undoubtedly there will be times that no amount of monitoring can keep you away from intense seas. the idea that one could breathe and allow and embrace the experience is far more compatible with my life philosophy - will i be able to remove from my mind the human grip of family and love and happiness, possibly ended - to be at one with the wind and howl and possible jolting of the motion of intense seas? will i be able to feel the chaos of the power of nature, churning and cycling, emitting any foreign resistance; to not resist, but to be... one with the energy?
so, dan and i have read and discussed how to ride out a storm - and we intend to use the skills that have been tried and proven to be effective to emerge most safely from a big blow... and i shall state my intention to let go of non useful resistance but rather squeal with the intensity of the energy around us...
