It has been clear from the start of this journey that one day we just didn’t wake up as cruisers and know what that really means. Processing, processing - sailing seems like the easy part!
We were visiting aboard Gypsy with some new friends we met and in our laughter about surviving with your beloved in a very small space, I admitted that, honestly, that has not been problematic for us. Our biggest challenge caught us by surprise with the unexpected but hoped for visit with Chelsea, my daughter, in Placencia, Belize. As I sat in the cockpit reading in the middle of the afternoon, a dinghy came towards our boat. It was the laughter that gave her away. She had creatively hitched a ride with one of our harbor neighbors. I was ecstatic! She had two traveling companions and after all of our exclamations, Dan, Chelsea and I gathered together our things and went to shore to meet up with them and share a meal. Home has always been a place where my kids could bring their friends and be welcomed. It’s different on a boat: comings and goings are intentional, space is limited, systems are unfamiliar to guests (operating the stove, for instance), and respect for one another is crucial. Things started deteriorating by day #2. The visiting group had their own agenda and being our “guests” was not their primary plan. Dan and I, in our effort to be a good host and hostess, initially tried to take the group out for meals and to shuttle them back and forth to the boat but as they very appropriately put it: it was like herding cats! They were unclear about their ongoing plans and with that indecision Dan and I were unable to make any plans for ourselves. One of Chelsea’s friends started acting out, conducting herself in town in a way that caused serious concern. This resulted in our need to have a heart to heart talk with her. Tension ran high and emotions were strong but we worked through it and in the end lessons were learned. Dan and I have different ways of dealing with these kinds of situations. We have different tolerance levels. We had stopped working together and our communication with one another was unclear. The frustrations we were individually feeling became projected onto each other. We now have taken the much-needed time to evaluate how we faired. It was tough. We struggled. We stopped seeing ourselves on the same team, which is unusual for us. What we learned (relearned) was, once again, the importance of communication. The greater the challenge, the more important clear communication becomes. We also learned the need to set clear guidelines and boundaries for all future boat guests. Past challenges did ultimately help us weather this storm. Even when things were at their worst we still had a sense that we would somehow get through this and that life’s natural buoyancy would lift us up which it has and we’re back on the same team.Dan and I have not always reacted the same to the destinations we have chosen. Something would spark a connection for him in one place and I may be attracted to particular features of somewhere else. One thing that we agree on all the time is that we do not want to become colonialists.
Beachfront property is tempting because of its affordability and availability in many of the places we have visited. Stunning vistas and comfortable ocean breezes making the climate ideal are some of the attractive features that attract “foreigners” land buyers. Favorable currency rates make the deal all the more attractive. Meanwhile the native people are crowded in substandard housing frequently clumped together in the congested village. Placentia, our most recent port, has been a glaring example. The native people, who were primarily fishermen, are not living on the water. It is true that the colonialists have made some improvements that have benefited everyone but on a recent bike tour of the peninsula the FOR SALE signs line the roadways that are not already dotted with upscale houses. The exchange rate in Belize is 2 to 1. Every US dollar is worth two Belize dollars. Our intention when setting out on this journey was to meet and observe folks in other cultures and learn from their wisdom. It was not to take over their land and drive them out.
This is not a vacation, it is our life. We are learning and living as we as we process with each other on our journey through other cultures and foreign lands. These insights that
